Health Coach Training

For the last six months I’ve been taking an online course through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (a school based in NYC) that is training me to become a holistic health coach. I am really loving it, and I don’t even remember now exactly how and why I got into it. But I am certain that it will help me in my practice as a midwife in the future, and it’s already helping me a lot now. Lately I’ve been approaching my own health and diet quite differently, and I know it’s one of the reason I’ve felt happier and have had more energy lately. It’s funny though because I think I’ve actually started eating worse in a lot of ways–I eat sweets sometimes and I almost never would before, dairy and wheat are a part of my diet again, and most of the veggies and fruits I eat are not organic. But eating worse is not the reason I feel better. It’s just that focusing on my diet less has allowed me to focus more on improving the things that have had a much greater influence on my health the last couple of years, like stress, sleep, may attitude/approach towards life, having loving and supportive friendships, and prayer.

The course I’m taking emphasizes the fact that health is affected by all aspects of our life, of which food is only one. In fact, food food is called our secondary food, and our primary foods–the ones that really fulfill us and have a broader affect on our health–are  relationships, spirituality, exercise, and profession/career. Among health professionals in the West, this is a pretty revolutionary way of thinking about health and diet, but if you think about it, it makes perfect sense and it is what we all intuitively know to be true.

One of my assignments this week for this course is to keep a food mood journal–to record all of the foods I’m eating and how I feel throughout the day. Then I’m meant to analyze the relationship between the foods I’m eating and my mood, and look for foods I may wish to cut out of my diet or eat more of depending on how they make me feel. It should be interesting, but it will also take a bit of self discipline and motivation, which is actually why I decided to write this blog entry. I am hoping that if I share with others what I’m doing and promise to write back in a week to report on what I learn, I might be more likely to actually do it. We’ll see. Hopefully I’ll be writing again in a week with interesting discoveries .

2011

This has been the most incredible year of my life, so I thought it would be nice to dedicate a little part of my new year’s eve to sharing some of my experiences with my friends and family. I’m in my cozy, warm bed so I wouldn’t be surprised if I fall asleep and blogging ends up being the only thing I do tonight. But hopefully I’ll manage to venture outside and watch the fireworks from the top of Baha’i terrace gardens in Haifa .

I spent every day of 2011 in Israel–the Holy Land for Baha’is and most other world religions. And it’s been amazing! I’ve loved every part of it from praying and meditating at the Baha’i Holy Shrines and gardens at least a few times per week, to working the hardest I ever have in my life, to making friends with wonderful (and I really mean wonderful) people from around the world, to gaining a much deeper appreciation and understanding of the Baha’i Faith, to eating delicious hummus everyday and never getting sick of it, to dodging cat poop and illegally-parked cars when I go on jogs, to hiking through the dessert, and walking up and down so many stairs that I can’t even imagine what it would be like to live somewhere flat again.

Some of this year’s most memorable moments were praying for my grandmother in the Baha’i Shrines just as she passed away from this world, fasting alongside over 600 other Baha’is, visiting the Garden of Ridvan (one of the most beautiful Baha’i Holy Places) for the first time, learning to formally translate correspondence from Portuguese and Spanish to English, bringing a dead-looking orchid back to life, spending a weekend in a kibbutz, eating mangoes almost every day for about five months, celebrating the anniversary of the passing of Baha’u'llah right by His shrine during the middle of the night, painting something on canvas for the first time, teaching courses on nutrition and health, taking a course online that’s training me to become a health coach, getting accepted into graduate school, spending a weekend in Jerusalem Old City with my sister, and spending Thanksgiving with a group of friends that feel like family.

In a way, this last year has been like going to university. But instead of getting a degree in something like biology or pubic health, I’m learning what it means to be a good person and what it takes to be truly happy. Every day I am challenged–by myself, by the people around me, by simply living where I live–to work harder, to be kinder to others, to be more patient, to be detached from my own ideas and desires while also not being afraid to speak up and do what I know is right, to be more productive and proactive, and to be more loving. This is what trying to be a Baha’i means, and I guess because I live in the Baha’i Holy Land, with several hundred other Baha’is, I cannot help but to try day by day to be a better Baha’i. It’s hard and there are plenty of moments when I feel like I’m completely failing or when just get tired and apathetic, but overall it’s been an incredibly uplifting and freeing experience.

Above all, I’m learning to let go of my fears and worries and to put my trust in God. I’m also learning that negative attitudes about myself or others only limit my capacity to make a difference in the lives of the people around me and in the world. There’s nothing humble about expecting less than what you are capable of or to feeling guilty for making mistakes. True humility, I think, means trusting that there is a reason why God has given you the capacities you have. It means that, while recognizing and accepting that you will never be perfect, you try your best, for the sake of God and humanity, to utilize your capacities, learn from your mistakes, and make a contribution to the world. It also means knowing that what you know is not all there is to know and recognizing that your opinions and feelings are only one piece of an enormous, complex, and incredibly interesting puzzle.

Alright, I only have a couple of hours before midnight, so I better get up and figure out what I’m going to do for the evening.

I wish to whoever reads this a beautiful, exciting, and happy new year, and lots of love to you from Haifa!

xoxo

Fasting in the Holy Land

Yesterday was the first day of the Baha’i Fast. For 19 days we abstain from food and water from sunrise to sunset and make a conscious effort to pray and meditate more. The purpose is to rejuvenate our spirits in preparation for the new year ahead, which starts on March 21st for the Baha’is, and to practice self-restraint and detachment from material comforts.

Baha’is begin fasting at the age of 15, so this is my ninth year. Each year I learn to appreciate the spiritual benefits of fasting a little more, and this year I was actually looking forward to it. It’s really quite amazing how the simple act of not eating while it is light outside influences my daily routine and how I feel so significantly. Each moment that I would have spent cooking and eating (or feeling sluggish and lazy because of over-eating), I now spend praying, going on walks, reflecting, reading, and cleaning. For some reason fasting makes me want to clean. It’s almost as if I want my surroundings to look as pure and empty as my stomach. Also, when I am hungry and thirsty, it feels like my senses become sharper and I become more aware of my surroundings. Maybe it’s kind of like how people that become blind develop a stronger sense of smell and better hearing? But in this case, not utilizing my sense of taste, is allowing me to pay more attention to what I see and hear and to my thoughts and feelings.

All day yesterday I felt much more conscious of where I was and what I was doing, and because of that I was able to be more focused and productive at work, enjoy my interactions with people, and really appreciate the fact that I am in one of the most beautiful, spiritually significant places in the world. I am so grateful to be here -  to wake up before the sun and eat breakfast and pray with wonderful friends, to spend my “lunch” break in the beautiful gardens, to pray in Shrine of the Bab before breaking the fast in the evening, and to share this experience with over six hundred other Baha’is from all over the world. I am glad I get to do this for 18 more days .

Grandma

My grandma passed away on the morning of Saturday, February 19th. It hasn’t been easy loosing someone that has been so much a part of my life and so influential to me and almost everyone on my mom’s side of the family. But as hard as it has been at moments, what I’ve come to realize over the last week is that death, like Bahá’u’lláh says, can truly be a messenger of joy.

“O SON OF THE SUPREME! I have made death a messenger of joy to thee. Wherefore dost thou grieve? I made the light to shed on thee its splendor. Why dost thou veil thyself therefrom?” ~Bahá’u’lláh

It’s been amazing to witness how my grandma’s death has brought my family closer. Also, family I never hear from have sent me messages of love and many friends have shown me kindness in one way or another. And although my grandma is no longer on this earth, I feel that she is close and in some ways closer than ever.

The day my grandma died was an amazing day  and I will never forget it. I described it a bit in a letter I wrote to my grandma the day after she died to be read at her memorial.

Dear Grandma,

The day you passed away was unusually warm in Haifa, Israel. The sky was clear and the air crisp and fresh. For the first time in weeks, I opened the window of my bedroom and walked outside without a coat or scarf. The winters in Israel are very mild but, nevertheless, the day felt as refreshing and liberating as the first Spring-like days in Vermont. I spent much of the day praying for you in the Baha’i Shrines, and although I couldn’t know for sure, I had a strong feeling you were going to die on that day. As I prayed and walked around the beautiful gardens surrounding the Shrines, I thought about how death must feel a little bit like going on a walk on the first beautiful day after a long, hard winter. I will miss you terribly Grandma, but I am happy that you are now liberated from your frail body and from the limitations of this physical world.

I feel so lucky to have had a grandmother like you. You weren’t cuddly and sweet like many grandmothers I’ve met. But far greater than showering me with hugs or sending cute care packages in the mail, you gave me a college education and were a constant source of praise and encouragement. You also taught me the true meaning of being generous. Without hesitation and never asking for anything in return, you shared everything you had with us–your money, car, your cottage in Maine, your books, food, laundry machines, cookware, and of course, your knowledge. I think there are few people in the world as generous as you.

Grandma, you mean more to me than I could ever be capable of describing. I love you very much! Thank you so much for everything, and I hope you rest in peace and happiness.

Love always,

Debora

Two and half months…

I have been meaning to blog since the first day I arrived in Haifa, Israel, the Baha’i World Center and Holy Land. Almost everyday something unexpected and amazing, challenging yet humorous, or unimaginably inspiring happens and I wish I had the time to write it all down. I don’t want to forget anything or get so caught up in my day-to-day tasks that I fail to recognize or fully appreciate the significance of these happenings. One moment I feel the same as I would if I were anywhere else in the world, leading a normal life. The next moment I am caught off guard by something that reminds me of where I am and I how lucky I am to be serving here.

It hasn’t been an easy two and half months. I’ve had to adjust to a lot of new things, and remaining continuously focused on my service and fully conscious of why I am here has been a challenge. But for each difficult moment, I experience a hundred wonderful moments, like the other day when I was in Bahji at sun set. As I walked down the white-stoned path toward the Shrine of Baha’u'llah, the sun set on my right and was shining a warm pink/orange light onto all the trees, flowers, and statues in the gardens. It was breezy but very quiet. All I could hear were birds singing and the footsteps of the pilgrims and other staff walking to or from the Shrine.

Hopefully now that I’ve gone to the trouble of giving my blog a new look and a new title I will be writing in it more. I guess we’ll see what happens

Good titles are hard to think of

I’ve been living with my parents in Burlington, Vermont for a little while now, and in many ways my life here is ideal. I have a big, peaceful room, eat home cooked meals every day, and get good night kisses before going to bed. I spend a lot my free time ridding my bike around the city and admiring the amazing view of lake Champlain. I do my homework in quaint, artsy coffee shops, and pick my own organic raspberries at a local family farm. My health insurance pays for me to get professional massages and to consult with a doctor that thinks the same way I do about health and healing. A lot of my closest friends are far away but I keep in touch with most thanks to my cellphone and mac. Sometimes when I come home late from work, I find a juicy juicy mango waiting for me in the fridge.

All these things bring me great comfort and I feel very lucky to have them. But here’s the deal. You know how some children are spoiled? And you can tell they are spoiled because they are not happy unless things go their way, even if getting their way means having to play by themselves? And they cry a lot for seemingly trivial reasons? And sometimes they are a rude, forgetting the importance of being kind to others and trying to uplift their spirits? Well, that is kind of how I have felt lately–like a spoiled child. Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit and this is probably funny to people who know me well. But really, I have not been at my best lately and I believe it is because I am not suffering enough.

I don’t really want to suffer suffer. It would be sort of silly to wish for tragic, painful suffering. I guess if God feels that I need to suffer in that way I will try my best to be okay with it. But the kind of suffering I am talking about is a joyful suffering that comes from sacrificing what you want for the good of others. My happiest moments lately have not been sitting in a cafe drinking yummy fair-trade drinks, getting the knots in my back de-knotted by my chiropractor, or catching up with a friend on the phone. Instead, I am happiest when I am visiting my grandmother, listening to her tell me an interesting yet a seemingly endless story, and struggling not to zone out so that she doesn’t get hurt and think that I think she is boring. I am also happy after I decide not to go on a run so that I can clean the kitchen up before I got to work, or when I wake up an extra hour early so that I have time to I can cook a nice meal for some of my friends who are in college and have to eat cafeteria food all the time. The kind of happy feeling I am talking about should not be confused with feelings like excitement and bliss. It’s a kind of tranquil, peaceful happiness. I think one of the reasons why I can’t wait to be a mom is because the idea of revolving most of what you do with your life around trying to provide for your children sounds pretty great.

I’ll leave you with some a couple of awesome quotes from the Baha’i Writings:

“Is any larger bounty conceivable than this, that an individual, looking within himself, should find by the confirming grace of God, he has become the cause of peace and well-being, of happiness and advantage to his fellow men?”

“O Son of Man! Thou dost wish for gold and I desire thy freedom from it. Thou thinkest thyself rich in its possession, and I recognize thy wealth in thy sanctity therefrom. By My life! This is My knowledge, and that is thy fancy; how can My way accord with thine?”

Reflections from my trip to Haiti

Since I got back from Haiti over a month ago, I’ve been meaning to write about my experiences in my blog but haven’t had the time. Hopefully now that school is ending I’ll have time to reflect on my experiences, tell some stories, and post pictures.

I’ll start today by sharing what I wrote in my journal the day after getting back from Haiti. This is from my field notes journal, which I kept as part of my senior thesis project on the role of spirituality and morality in socioeconomic development.

March, 25th, 2010

When I think back on what it was like to be in Haiti, I get a comforting feeling of being where I was meant to be, of being at home. I never feel like that in the States. Something always feels slightly off here. There I felt a part of something real–an amazing country courageously trying to recover from a devastating tragedy and hundreds of years of slavery and neocolonialism. Here I am in a sheltered bubble of efficiency, safety, and material comforts. I like the real world better.

My research in Haiti definitely taught me something about the ideal way to develop a community, or at least about how people can help to develop communities in countries other than their own. Those with will, knowledge, and strength of character must humbly devote their lives to serving communities that they become a part of after years of living there and adopting the language and culture. This ensures that their motives are pure, their impact is greater, the problems they address are much more relevant, their willingness to reflect on and change their approach endless, and their ability to inspire others to work towards change is infinitely higher. This is the future of international development.

So the role of spirituality and morality in development lies in creating individuals capable of commiting to this type of service, of allowing these individuals to teach and inspire others, and of ensuring that systems and organizations that grow out of indivual initiavites remain honest, just, and effective.

Blogging is more interesting

This is probably the worst time for me to decide to finally update my blog. I have pages and pages left of my senior thesis left to write by the end of the day or at the latest by tomorrow. But I’m inspired and I don’t know when I will be again.

Not too long ago someone told me I should pay more attention to my thoughts- to what I want, what I believe is right. I listened the advice because it made sense. Like most people, I sometimes struggle to listen to what’s in my heart without worrying too much about what others think or want from me. Sometimes I am tempted to blindly imitate others, or tempted to just go with the flow even if it goes against what I think is right. But I try not to because I know that if I want to be a just person I can’t.

O SON OF SPIRIT! The best beloved of all things in My sight is Justice; turn not away therefrom if thou desirest Me, and neglect it not that I may confide in thee. By its aid thou shalt see with thine own eyes and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor. Ponder this in thy heart; how it behooveth thee to be. Verily justice is My gift to thee and the sign of My loving-kindness. Set it then before thine eyes. ~Baha’u'llah

I listened to the advice I was given but I am having  a hard time implementing it completely because as much as I believe it is true, I also don’t want to be self-centered. I don’t want to make all my decisions based on what I want or think I need because I’m far from perfect. What I want or think I need may be far from what God wills. I should be detached from my desires, make life less about me, make it more about others and about God, and, above all, live as much as I can in accordance to the will of God.

But knowing exactly what God’s wills seems nearly impossible sometimes. What God wants from me is not written in a book, or in the lyrics of an inspiring song, or in the words of a wise, admirable person. Fortunately, we have some guidance from God in the writings of Baha’u'llah, Muhammad, Jesus, and other Divine Educators. These writings tell me that killing someone, judging a person by their skin color, disobeying the law, lying, being lazy, sleeping around, and all that has never been and will never be the will of God. But the Holy Writings say little about what career I should choose, how much time I should spend with my friends, what foods I should eat, what I should wear to the beach, how much money I should spend on shampoo, or who I should date. So where do I go to find out what the will of God is in these situations? I realize now that the advice I was given is more valuable than I thought.

O MY BROTHER! Hearken to the delightsome words of My honeyed tongue, and quaff the stream of mystic holiness from My sugar-shedding lips. Sow the seeds of My divine wisdom in the pure soil of thy heart, and water them with the water of certitude, that the hyacinths of My knowledge and wisdom may spring up fresh and green in the sacred city of thy heart. ~Baha’u'llah

If I pray, read the Writings, and keep what I read in my heart, then the best person I can to turn to when looking for guidance really is me. It’s important to ask for advice and consider what others suggest, but never give it too much weight because sometimes people’s intentions are not pure or their advice is based on experiences that differ greatly from your own reality. Remember this, especially if you ever find yourself in a situation you did not choose to be in or are afraid of listening to the little voice inside you that is telling you to do something that is not easy or goes against the grain.

Okay, back to writing my thesis

Dreams

I’m 22 years old, one semester away from graduation, and, like so many people in my situation, have know idea whats going to happen after graduation. There are possibilities- doing research in Tanzania, serving at the Baha’i World Center in Israel, getting a job in Amherst for a year. But none of these options are certain and, although I know I want to become a midwife, I don’t know where I’m going to study midwifery, if I’ll really start studying a year after I graduate like I plan, and what I’m gonna do after graduate school… Anyways, I’ll stop writing about this because I know its not too interesting. I just go the urge to because tonight I’m feeling impatient Last night I was thinking about all this before I went to sleep and I had a dream. But it wasn’t a helpful prophetic-type dream. It just made me more confused because in my dream I was presented with even more options for what to do after I graduate. Maybe tonight’s the night. Maybe I’ll have a dream that will make everything clear and simple! Let’s see. I’ll report back tomorrow…

Its been awhile

After about a month of being so busy that I often didn’t have time to do little  things like pluck my eyebrows or staple my homework papers together, I finally feel like things are slowing down a bit. It may not be for long but for now I’m enjoying the extra time to think and meditate.

I meditate best when I’m jogging and listening to cheesy pop songs, and today while I was jogging I realized something that I think is pretty exciting but it may cause me to drop out of school soon. I’m just kidding really but you’ll see what I mean.

The more college classes I take, especially anthropology  and development studies classes, the more I realize that nothing in life is certain. Everything is relative and the good-versus-bad thing doesn’t exist. For example, electricity is pretty awesome and I don’t think anyone would argue that. But if electricity is introduced into a rural village by an electrical company that is so interested in making a profit that it neglects to make sure that its electrical system  is environmentally friendly and sustainable, then the village may suffer from pollution and disease, drought, and famine. A murderer sucks but if the murderer is so poor he never went to school and he was raised by an abusive, alcoholic parent, then can we really blame the murderer for been screwed up? And if we choose to blame his government for not providing him with free education and not protecting him from his parents, then we must also blame those who elected the government. But what if the people who voted were brainwashed by the media? I could keep going but instead I’ll go onto a more exciting example…pimples! Pimples are gross, pussy, painful, and most of all ugly. But at least for me pimples are a great reminder that I should take care of myself better and eat less junk. Whenever I see a ragging pimple party getting started on my face, I reassess my health, try to get more sleep, and try to eat less chocolate, coffee, and sweets.

So I should get to the point. The fact that life is relative, complicated, and far from black and white makes me depressed sometimes. I get depressed because it makes me feel like anything I do to try to help humanity and make the world better will not make much of a difference it the large scheme of things. In fact, not only could my efforts not change much but they could also be harmful. I could spend eight years studying to become a doctor but end up prescribing a dangerous medication unnecessarily because I was misinformed about its effectiveness and the severity of its side affects. Or I could start a famine-relief non-profit organization but end up giving so much food to people that they become dependent on my organization and, generations down the line, forget how to produce their own food.

Now I realize that there is no need to ever be depressed! What all this means is that all I can do is try my best and focus on the one thing I know will always produce positive results: loving people. I don’t need to go to school to know how to love and I don’t even need to exert much effort. This is an example of how sometimes things get so complicated that they go back to being simple.